Caring for Mom…

Wow, that was quite the break. My Mom, Jacqueline Poor, was diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer in 2006 and passed away at the end of October 2009. I couldn’t really bring myself to post during those months. For one, I was caring for her and didn’t have much time to spare. Additionally, I wasn’t ready to share those difficult months. Caring for someone in the end stages of Cancer is difficult, draining, and completely surreal particularly when it is someone who is so crucial in your life. It isn’t easy but it is rewarding in many ways. It is odd the things you get used to… I put IVs into a shunt in her arm which was terrifying at first and then became a chore- as simple as doing the dishes. I drained her belly of litters of fluid, I navigated her health benefits and arranged her legal and financial affairs- that is still consuming a lot of my time incidentally.  I woke daily intent on finding something, anything, she would eat… I met her friends and coworkers and arranged time to see her when she felt strong enough. I changed bed sheets, woke in the middle of the night when she rang a bell, kept track of countless numbers of pills, I could go on.

My long runs afforded me a certain block of time that belonged solely to me. I ran the Santa Barbara Marathon on December 6th. I wore a heart shaped diamond necklace that was my Mom’s and felt as though she was getting me through the most difficult parts. I am grateful for the experience, that said, it was certainly my first and only marathon. I don’t want to discourage anyone here, it was an amazing personal feat. I put the 26.2 decal on my car and feel slightly smug each time I look at it. While I am grateful for the experience, Marathons are brutal. The next morning I felt as though I’d been in a serious automobile accident. That night, I had to hold on to the bedsheets and heave my body over to change to another sleeping position. A valuable experience, but I’m moving on. Next, I’m going to complete a triathlon. It’s been hard not having her here, my life has been on hold for a bit while I’ve been bogged down in the particulars of my Mom’s taxes, household, etc. But I’m getting there.

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